You Didn't Put In On These Fries

Not only is this the story of my worst date, but it's also an example of a time when I should have turned around and gone back home. I met this guy who shall remain nameless. It's not because I'm trying to protect his identity or still feel some type of way. I literally don't remember. I believe it started with an R, so let's call him Roger. I may not remember his name, but I'll never forget this date.

We met on a dating app back in 2017. I'll be honest, I started swiping again because I had just ended things with someone I cared about. I didn't want to think about how much I missed him, so I accepted a date from Roger. He seemed decent at the time. Nothing to get excited in the group chat about but again, I didn't want to think about what just ended.

We exchanged numbers and decided to go to the Epicentre uptown. On the way there, I got a phone call. "Hey, are you there yet?" I wasn't. I was at a stop light, less than 10 minutes away. He then said that he was at his apartment with a friend from college named something like Nya or Mia, who is his best friend, and he wanted me to meet her since she was in town to visit. When he asked me if I wanted to come over to pregame, I should have made a U-turn.

I was annoyed and told him that I would just meet him at at the Epicentre. At this point, I was more so going because I was already almost there and I liked going to the Epicentre. This dude was clearly starting off wrong but this just so happened to be on Friday night that I didn't want to spend at home.

I got to the Epicentre and I waited. And I waited some more. Finally about 30 minutes later, Roger appeared. Luckily for him, I found a bar with live music. I had more fun waiting and enjoying the show that I did once he walked through the door.

When he sat down at the bar, there was instantly no chemistry. I really was hoping that I would meet someone else. He suggested drinks. I didn't want a drink, so I kept drinking my water. Then he asked if I was hungry. I said yes, and he suggested wings.

The bartender walked by us at least four times. By that fifth time, I realized it was intentional—not because of the bartender but on Roger's end. So I said, "Hey, there's the bartender." He looked and pretended he didn't see anyone and said, "Oh, okay. I'll get his attention when he comes back over here." I watched him about four times after that, clearly making eye contact with the waiter and not saying a word.

It was cool. I wasn't trying to depend on a man I met online to eat. I told him I was starting to get hungry and going to Five Guys to get some fries. I had already waited for him to get to the Epicentre, and my hunger quickly turned into hanger. My announcement that I was walking to get food was not an invitation. In fact, I was hoping he would say he would save our seats at the bar so I could leave the Epicentre completely and never look back.

Unfortunately, when I got up, he got up. So we walked over to Five Guys, and I got in line. He was being fidgety the entire time, like a bored toddler who was somewhere they didn't want to be. But here I was, out of the house and by this point, starving. I thought, the least I can do is get some fries before I go. As soon as I got closer to the counter, he vanished like he was running a race. This is no exaggeration, he could have given Usain Bolt a run for his money. I told the guy I wanted a side of fries, which is my usual everywhere I go, took out my card, and walked over to the drink station to wait.

All of a sudden, Roger reappeared. He didn't say anything about his vanishing act, and neither did I. When my fries were ready, I grabbed them and sat down to eat. In my mind, Roger wasn't even present. I had already disregarded him at this point. But I had to acknowledge him again when he sat down at my table and asked, "Can I have some?"

I didn't want to make a scene, but I wanted to scream. Anyone who knows me knows I don't play when it comes to my fries. I reluctantly let him have a couple. A few minutes later, he reached into the bag to get a few more, and I was livid. Instead of saying what I wanted to say, I responded by eating them faster. He did not put in on those fries. They were mine.

Did you think it was over? I wish. As soon as I started chewing on the last fry, I collected my trash and started making an exit. He didn't even ask any questions. He knew he messed up. He asked if he would walk me to my car. I could have walked by myself, but I thought, well, he didn't do anything else right at least he was decent enough to do that. Once we got to the car, I realized walking barefoot through the snow would have been better.

We got to my car, and he tried to hug me. I gave him a church hug, and he gave me a small, quick peck on the cheek. I was disgusted. But I was a little worried. That had never happened before, and I just wanted to get home. I got in my car, and I thought I was safe. A few seconds later, I look over to my left after hearing a light knock on the window. "Can you drive me to my car?" I panicked. I didn't know if I should or not but 20 something year old me did. You're not going to believe this. His car was almost 5 minutes from the Epicentre because he didn't want to pay the $10 parking fee.

Once he got out of the car, I drove off as fast as he ran to avoid paying for those fries. When I think about this experience, I thank God nothing else happened. I know I made the right decision not to go to his place to "pregame" but I shouldn't have waited that long for him to arrive. I should have left and gone to Chipotle when he lied about getting wings, and I should have never allowed him in my car. I don't know what I was thinking, but I'm glad it happened. I pay closer attention to red flags now, and I understand the importance of expressing boundaries. Everything is a learning experience. When the Epicentre closed, I was thankful for the memories that I have. Even if one of them is my worst date ever with "Roger."

All About That Data

Miss Goody Goody

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